Jen Sincero is a world-travelling success coach who has a refreshingly direct and entertaining approach to personal development.
In her book You Are A Badass, you’ll learn how to identify and change self-sabotaging beliefs, behaviors that get in the way of your goals, and how to make some money in the process.
Join us for the next 10 minutes as we explore how to be a badass in business and life.
Part 1: How You Got This Way
As human beings, we all have a conscious mind and a subconscious mind. Our conscious mind processes all of our information and our unconscious mind is about feelings and instincts. Our subconscious mind contains the blueprint for our lives. It’s running the show based on the unfiltered information it fathered when we were kids, also known as our “beliefs.”
The first key to ridding yourself of limiting subconscious beliefs is to become aware of them. Take a minute to think about the underlying beliefs you’ve created in your life.
Whatever you call it (God, The Universe, Source Energy, etc), there is something that is surrounding you and within you, and you can use it to your advantage. All of us are connected to this limitless power and most of us aren’t even using a fraction of it.
The basic idea is this: focus on things that make you feel good and you will find (attract) things that make you feel good. You need to raise your frequency to match the vibration of the one you want to tune into.
In order to truly raise your vibration, you’ve got to believe that everything you want is available to you. And the best way to keep this belief strong is by staying connected to The Universe. The trick is to have both parts – energy and action – work in unison.
It’s not that the things and opportunities that we want in life don’t exist yet. It’s that we’re not yet aware of their existence (or the fact that we can really have them).
“Ego” is the false self, the part of us that is terrified to be truly seen and needs lots of outside validation that we’re good enough. Your Ego operates according to your false limiting beliefs to keep you safely confined within the reality you’ve created based on those beliefs (also known as your comfort zone).
Your Ego will do everything it can to stop you from changing and growing, especially since you’re attempting to obliterate the very identity that you and everyone else has come to know as “you.” Whatever happens, stay on course, because there’s nothing better than watching your entire reality shift into one that is the perfect expression of you.
Self-perception is a zoo. We torture ourselves with the fear that we are incapable/unworthy/lazy/horrible. But it’s just as easy to believe we’re awesome. So, become one of your own die-hard fans.
Part 2: How to Embrace Your Inner Badass
We’re born knowing how to trust our instincts, how to eat only when we’re hungry, how to not care about what anyone thinks, and how to love without holding back. Then, we grow and replace many of these understandings with false beliefs, fear, shame and self-doubt.
We must love ourselves enough to let go of guilt, resentment and criticism so we can embrace compassion, joy and gratitude. Here are some ways you can do that:
- Appreciate how special you are.
- Drown yourself in affirmations.
- Do things you love.
- Start putting your needs first.
- Pay attention to your self-talk when you’re being hard on yourself and come up with a new and improved response.
- Stop making self-deprecating jokes. Harmless jokes, over time, turn into destructive beliefs.
- Receive compliments gracefully instead of countering with a disclaimer.
- Don’t compare yourself to others.
- Forgive yourself.
- Love yourself, because it is the Holy Grail of happiness.
Don’t waste your precious time caring about what other people think of you. You are responsible for what you say and do. You are not responsible for the way people react to it. What other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. All that matters is what’s true for you.
Every single person is born with unique and valuable gifts to share with the world. When we share what we were brought here to give, we are in alignment with our highest, most powerful selves. Here’s how to get clear on who you are and what your calling is:
- Look at things with an alien’s perspective.
- Take the first right step.
- Do your best wherever you’re at.
- Don’t reinvent the wheel.
- Don’t wait for a flash of soul-defining insight.
- Listen to your intuition.
- Follow your fantasies.
- Love yourself.
Part 3: How to Tap Into the Motherlode
Meditation has a ton of benefits. It brings us into the present moment, raises our frequency, opens us up to receive unlimited information and ideas, relaxes us, relieves stress, strengthens our intuition and ability to focus, allows us to hear our inner voice more clearly, fills us with light and love, puts us in a good mood, and helps us love ourselves.
The best way to meditate is to sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Notice it moving in and out of your body. As thoughts arise, gently release them and refocus on your breathing.
Start small, with five or ten minutes, and slowly work your way up to longer periods. Set a timer so you’re not distracted. Try and do it first thing in the morning. Use a guided meditation to help you.
Our thoughts are the most powerful tools we have. The moment you have the audacity to start believing in the not-yet-seen, your reality will begin to shift. You have to change your thinking first, and then the evidence will appear. Here are some ways to do that:
- Keep your thoughts directed at your goal and be on the lookout for the opportunities.
- Ask for what you want and begin the manifestation process.
- Fake it until you make it.
- Upgrade your environment.
- Make a vision board.
- Surround yourself with people who think the way you want to think.
- Love yourself.
- Connect with your inner child to keep your dreams alive.
- Take on the attitude of ‘I just want to see what I can get away with.’
- Figure out the things that make you lose track of time and do more of them.
- Keep being a beginner.
Giving is one of our greatest joys. If you want to attract good things and feelings into your life, send awesomeness out to everyone around you.
Being in a state of gratitude is about having an awareness of, and a deep appreciation for, the many miracles in life.
If you have a grateful expectation that miracles will walk into your life, they will.
Emotional pain is inevitable in life, but the moment you decide to forgive and let your negative feelings melt away, you are on the road to freedom. Here are some ways to do that:
- Find compassion for yourself and for others.
- Erase the other person from the equation so you can have a more productive and pleasant reaction.
- Decide you’d rather be happy than right.
- Look at it from all angles.
Sometimes you need to get it out of your system before you can let it go. Remember that you won’t even remember this in three years. Love yourself.
Part 4: How to Get Over Your BS Already
What you choose to focus on becomes your reality. Our entire experience on this planet is determined by how we choose to perceive our reality.
Become aware of what your stories are. Become aware of what you’re gaining from your stories. If you’re perpetuating something dismal in your life because of some story, there’s definitely something about it that you’re getting. Journal about the false rewards you get from them. Replace each reward with a new, powerful story.
Most of the time it’s not lack of experience that’s holding us back, but rather the lack of determination to do what we need to do to be successful. We all know way more than we give ourselves credit for.
Just start. Now. Do whatever it takes. Procrastination is one of the most popular forms of self-sabotage because it’s really easy. If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse.
Remember that done is better than perfect. Notice where you stall and push through. Find someone to hold you accountable. Figure how much time you truly need to get the job done, and do something else until the clock starts ticking.
The majority of the pain and suffering in our lives is caused by the unnecessary drama that we create. You can create anything you desire, but you have to truly want it. If you feel overwhelmed, break your task into bite-sized bits. If you’re feeling totally confused and disorganized, get some outside perspective. Hire a coach or ask a successful friend. Make a to-do list. And delegate. You don’t have to do every single thing by yourself.
Fear lives in the future. The feeling of being afraid is real, but the fear itself is all made up because it hasn’t happened yet. On the other side of your fear is your freedom.
To navigate your way through fear, look back on something that you did that was scary. It doesn’t scare you now, does it? Most of your fears are all in your mind and once you recognize that, they will lose their power over you.
When you find yourself letting fear push you around, look at it from a different perspective. Try to break it down to find out what you’re really afraid of and flip it. Stay in the moment, don’t think about anything stressful in bed at night, and love yourself.
The people you surround yourself with are excellent mirrors for who you are and how much, or how little, you love yourself. Never apologize for who you are. Here are some things that may help:
- Notice the things that bother you in other people and use it to learn about your own unwanted qualities.
- And remember, sometimes, no matter how much work you do on yourself, there will still be toxic people. Avoid them.
Part 5: How to Kick Some Ass
When you make a decision, you need to keep moving toward your goal regardless of what is flung in your path. Nobody gets to the top of the mountain without falling on his face over and over again. The only failure is quitting. Everything else is just gathering information.
Deciding is freedom. Indecision is torture. Commit to something and then follow through. Decisions are not up for negotiation. Be willing to fall down, get up, cry, laugh, make a mess, clean it up and not stop until you get there. No matter what.
Dream big. When you level-up your idea of what’s possible and decide to really go for it, you open yourself up to the means to accomplish it as well.
Ridding yourself of your fear of money, be it conscious or subconscious, is essential if you want to make any. Your beliefs hold the key to your financial success so come from a place from abundance, not scarcity.
Write down how you feel about money and rewrite the negative stories you believe. One of the best things you can do to improve the world is to improve yourself. So if you need money to improve your life, go get some.
Successful people keep moving through each new challenge instead of stagnating and settling. Keep moving, keep growing, keep pushing through obstacles. You have to keep faith, always.
Kick your bad habits. Keep breathing. Hang out with people who are kicking ass. Set honest goals. Write and read your manifesto. Get some coaching or mentoring. Love yourself. You are a badass.
You may also like to read:
- The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy, Ph.D., D.D.
- The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy, Ph.D., D.D.
- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
- The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
- Today We Are Rich by Tim Sanders
- Best Self by Mike Bayer
- The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday
- Make It Big by Frank McKinney
- Be Fearless by Jean Case
- Find Your Extraordinary by Jessica Herrin